Here’s the thing, in a situation where you have the opportunity to prioritise your goals, I believe that there’s no such thing as selfishness.
1. Stay Consistent
Consistency is how you build habits, and it is how you condition the people around you to stop inviting you to become distracted by their needs and wants. Causing you to take your eye off the prize.
This means that if you have made the decision to chase your goals. Stick to it.
If that includes giving up alcohol. Stick with it and turn down anything that might tempt you.
If you work best from 7:00 pm until 11:00 pm. Don’t schedule social activities during this time. It is really hard to build up a habit of choosing your goals over social life. If you do not stay consistent, you will lose.
2. Develop the skill of self-soothing
Once you can recognize the signs of becoming defensive, learn to do something to change it, such as deep breathing or a simple stretch.
Acknowledging what is happening ("I’m becoming defensive, and I want to take a moment to calm myself so I can hear rationally what is being said") provides time and space—and often, compassion—for you and the other person.
3. Be aware of when it happens
Begin to notice the signs of being defensive: a tense body, self-justification, and a sense that you are being criticised or rejected. Think, what evidence do I have of this.
4. You have to be kind when you notice the signs
Do not criticize yourself for reacting the way you do; instead, slow things down, and try to be compassionate with yourself the way you would to a loved one feeling the same way.
5. Movement benefits the body and mind
Exercise invigorates you, not only physically but also mentally. It leaves you energized and enthusiastic and clears your mind. If you can incorporate some form of movement into your morning ritual, it will jump-start your day.
6. Mindfulness during daily activities is restorative
You do not necessarily have to add anything to your day. If you can cultivate mindfulness as you go about your usual activities, it can have the same restorative effect as a morning ritual. Breathing deeply when you wake up, pausing to feel your feet on the floor before you get out of bed, paying attention to the sensation of warm water flowing over your skin in the shower, watching the clouds while sipping your coffee—these practices can all calm and centre you, and they don’t take any extra time.
7. Fосuѕ on the present
We all саrrу the burden from our раѕt. You саnnot сhаngе it. You nееd to fоrgіvе уоurѕеlf and uѕе уоur раѕt mіѕtаkеѕ and fаіlurеѕ аѕ valuable lessons. Moreover, bесаuѕе you never know what tomorrow will bring, уоu оnlу have уоur рrеѕеnt to fосuѕ on and embrace.